But here’s the thing: the only moments we have are the ones in this moment; the present.

Right now. Right. Now.

It is not enough to hope, although we can also recognize that being hopeful keeps us in the space of possibility.

But here’s the thing: the only moments we have are the ones in this moment; the present.

Right now. Right. Now.

It is not enough to hope, although we can also recognize that being hopeful keeps us in the space of possibility.

I’ve shared a year-end message since 2017. They have changed over the years, often including readings, video and music - which I offer to others. Music in particular has been a source of comfort.

Over the course of the past 18 months a few playlists have both grounded or freed me: Black and Bold and I Love my MidWest Classics and Mouse Will Play I return to repeatedly and something in me is reminded and lifted.

As I reflect on this moment 365 days ago, I am full of all the things and knowing that — regardless of the election outcome — what would follow would be yet another expression of how far we have to go to get to the possibilities; to move towards equity, justice and liberation. 

This time last year I remember feeling as if every fiber of my being was on alert. It was as if a magnetic current was running through my circuits; it both attracted and repelled. It was exhausting.

I am determined to not collapse into winter break this year but rather transition into it with ease, spaciousness and gratitude. Intention set.

In opening my heart more fully and being as present as possible, I am more permeable.

I feel more of all the things.

I am alive and vibrant in different and new ways.

The tightness has been there for a while now. Mid 2019 is when I started to pay more attention to its presence.

There are moments when I notice it less. However, it is ever present.

Tomorrow I will have different configurations of these and other things. And they will look different the day after that and the day after that. It is in the ever changing nature of my being that I am myself.

I cannot stress this enough—PLEASE do not approach me with an ask. Approach me with an invitation to be in relationship towards something more than your immediate needs and ideally something that advances both our aims.

I started with the etymology of the word, as I find the origin of words can be useful. But the definitions only constrained my thinking and creativity.

I am many things.

One thing I am not is difficult.

I’ve been thinking a bit about what it means to be safe - physically, emotionally and intellectually. In what ways does one’s inner safety serve as the source of that safety - be it perceived or realized? And how does this translate to home? 

How do I…

In a text thread with my dear friend Libby we were, as usual, pondering big questions and within them nuance and specificity. I shared that I desired space and no attention and she asked what was the difference. My response was space = freedom and no attention = anonymity. I realize the ridiculousness of that last part given these writings and the other ways I am showing up in the world.

I cannot tell if it is an intentional overcompensation for the invisibility and disposability of Blackness but now our likenesses are everywhere, even if we are not salient to the core message. This seems particularly true when talking about equity— particularly racial equity. Somewhere along the line, racial equity = Black.

Restlessness and relentlessness are dancing together. It is not choreographed. The soundtrack has rhythms and keys which are sometimes harmonious and other times there is discord.

The other day, post some time with my inner self, I realized something — partly because we are pondering where our next physical home should be geographically located —I am my home. What I mean is for me, my home resides within and so it matters less to me where I am situated externally.

What is possible when love is an action and a choice - one that allows for and reflects autonomy and collectivism towards mutual thriving and full of joy?

I am starting to travel again. I will only fly into airports located in places where there is a strong belief in science (apparently this is something one questions in the 21st century). This narrows my choices significantly.

I am one of those people who once they write, speak, act etc. doesn’t look back at the output. Once it is out of my body, I am done. I often have no idea what I said, although I do prepare, write notes and practice, etc. If I gave more thought as to why that is, it likely has something to do with an increasing paranoia of being self involved and self indulgent.