The Ask vs. The Invitation
Originally written as a Twitter thread in response to a couple exchanges the week before.
I cannot stress this enough—PLEASE do not approach me with an ask. Approach me with an invitation to be in relationship towards something more than your immediate needs and ideally something that advances both our aims.
Do not assume I have time.
Do not assume that you know me—especially if you do not know me.
Do not assume that what seems like an easy yes or no to you does not require a ridiculous amount of emotional labor on my end to weigh the considerations and perceptions.
Do not assume I want an infinite amount of people in my world.
What you can assume is that I genuinely come from and increasingly operate from a place of love, generosity, abundance and honesty and that if invited, almost nothing is off the table.
I see nothing but possibilities.
And if you aren’t sure, I invite you to pause and imagine how you would respond to your email and then imagine you are me.
Come correct, please.
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Completed August 14th, 2021
About The Author:
Jara Dean-Coffey (jdc) is Founder and Director of the Equitable Evaluation Initiative and the Founder of Luminare Group. For the past twenty-five years, she has partnered with clients and colleagues to elevate their collective understanding of the relationship between values, context, strategy and evaluation and shifting our practices so that they are more fully in service of equity. For more about musings + machinations click here.
