The gift of silence as an act of friendship
Written on sunny afternoon, October 18th on the patio with the sun streaming, a blue sky and a touch of fall in the air
Sometime this weekend I DM’d a friend, inquiring as to whether it was time for a phone call. Today, I realized that I had nothing to say.
And if they were like me, the sound of the human voice has lost a bit of its charm lately. So many saying so much and so little simultaneously - much of it simplistic, ill-informed, contradictory, and increasingly full of hate and not love. It is a deafening cacophony.
Silence for me is a space without expectations, free of performance and no need for the energy required to manage my words and tone. It is a place and space of just being.
It struck me that the most profound expression of friendship I could offer was not to ask for or to take any time from my friend just being, hopefully in silence or in whatever way is nurturing them.
So as much for them as for me, I unsent the DM, knowing that they probably already saw it but that they would hopefully accept my gift.
About The Author:
Jara Dean-Coffey (jdc) is Founder and Director of the Equitable Evaluation Initiative and the Founder of Luminare Group. For the past twenty-five years, she has partnered with clients and colleagues to elevate their collective understanding of the relationship between values, context, strategy and evaluation and shifting our practices so that they are more fully in service of equity. For more about musings + machinations click here.
