Dreaming of a nap

Written in the upstairs living room, on the settee, looking East to the sunrise around 2:00 pm.

I awakened tired this morning - a rarity for me. If you know me, you know I wake up at full speed. It is not my preference, it is simply how I am wired.

It is Sunday, October 4th and the weather is changing a bit. It feels like a day where a midday nap is possible. 

Denied.

I wrote this instead.

Apparently I can be still but I cannot fully rest.

Likely the “clusterfuck” of the past week has both exhausted me and put me on higher alert. I have stopped second-guessing why and when I will rest and now simply accept it will come when it comes.

I do this not from a place of complacency or resolve, but rather an understanding that my full self embodies a wisdom that my cognitive self cannot grasp. It will let me know when it is time.

It feels good to know that there is something higher/better than what I believe that is in play.

That in itself allows me to rest - a little.

About The Author:

Jara Dean-Coffey (jdc) is Founder and Director of the Equitable Evaluation Initiative and the Founder of Luminare Group. For the past twenty-five years, she has partnered with clients and colleagues to elevate their collective understanding of the relationship between values, context, strategy and evaluation and shifting our practices so that they are more fully in service of equity. For more about musings + machinations click here.