M+M: One year later (part 1)
May 29th — around 11:00 a.m. Written at 30K feet. YEAH! I am on a flight back from DC — window seat; masks on. Bose noise cancelling earbuds in. Listening to the only playlist I have saved in iTunes (I really need to add to that list). I have a few more pages in an old journal. Writing in hot pink erasable ink.
I still don’t think of myself as a writer, although clearly I write.
Often I write in groupings — three to four ideas at a time. The themes may or may not be connected, although clearly for me there is a thread.
When they come, they come fast and easy — the words, the ideas and the feelings. But often they simmer for days/weeks. I try not to force it, but pay attention to what I cannot seem to contain. I do know that prior to the release I feel tender and tense. After writing, I feel more still and a bit blissful. Yeah, I know what that sounds like — but for me that is the experience. It is personal, embodied and emotional.
Maybe it will change over time.
I have journals now all over the place (and in whatever purse/bag I might be carrying) in case words need to find a place outside of my heart and head. The journals all have a solid color cover, and vary between lined and graphed. There is a pen associated with each journal and they are of various types and colors. Each is a fine point. I am ALMOST at the place where each journal was purchased with the intention of writing, as opposed to some left over pages in something intended for another purpose.
I always hand write and then move it to a google doc either by typing or via dictation. I will do one more edit and then typically share with a few friends to see if whatever I wrote resonates in some way. Then I send it to Marci and she does her magic (prior to that it was Jennie).
I’ll be honest, I don't know who this writer is (me), but as long as I get an occasional response like these from a reader, I’ll keep sharing my musings and machinations for them, but perhaps most importantly for my own health and well-being.
The intersections of being present to contribute to a new world while being present for myself are everywhere. This is just one of them.
This post was written on May 29th, 2021.
About The Author:
Jara Dean-Coffey (jdc) is Founder and Director of the Equitable Evaluation Initiative and the Founder of Luminare Group. For the past twenty-five years, she has partnered with clients and colleagues to elevate their collective understanding of the relationship between values, context, strategy and evaluation and shifting our practices so that they are more fully in service of equity. For more about musings + machinations click here.
